Good Systems · public information library

Why do I copy other people all day and then feel wiped out?

People come here to understand why something in everyday life feels harder, different or more costly than it should — and what might make it work better.

Short answer

Copying others can help you get through a situation and still be exhausting if it takes constant monitoring.

What this can look like

You may copy the tone, expressions or pace around you to get through work or social situations, then feel drained afterwards.

Why it can happen

You do not need to judge the strategy; notice its cost and where you can use less effort or be more direct.

What might help

Notice where the effort is highest. Choose one lower-effort option: be more direct, take a quiet break, keep a camera off, or spend time with people who need less performance.

What the research helps explain

Australian autism guidance and research on masking describe meaningful differences in communication, sensory experience, routines, transitions and recovery. They support person-led, context-aware exploration; they do not turn one trait into a diagnosis.

What can vary

Autistic and AuDHD experiences vary widely, and similar experiences can have other explanations. A public page cannot diagnose autism or AuDHD, infer identity, or prescribe support without your input.

For this situation

For you, protect a place or person where you do not have to keep performing.

More info and original sources

Poko summarises the relevance of public original sources and links out for anyone who wants to read more.