Why do my reactions make sense to me but not to other people?

Short answer

Your reaction can make sense from the inside when other people cannot see the demand, history or sensory and social information you were responding to.

What this can look like

A plan changing at the last minute may look minor to another person but leave you unable to find your place again. A noisy room, an unclear tone or too many requests may create a reaction others do not understand.

Why it can happen

You do not have to prove every reaction is objectively right to explore it respectfully. Try translating the situation: what happened, what you noticed, what it cost and what would have made it easier. That gives others something practical to understand.

What might help

Translate the moment into plain facts: what changed, what you lost track of, and what would help next time. Try: “When the plan changed without warning, I lost track of the next step. Please put the new plan in writing.” This gives people a workable request, not just a problem.

What the research helps explain

Executive-function research shows that attention and response selection depend on what information is held and prioritised. Workplace guidance recognises that demands, role clarity and support can shape how people experience the same situation.

What can vary

Other people may have different information or needs too. Understanding a reaction is not the same as excusing harm or deciding who is right.

For this situation

For you, use a concrete sentence: “When X changed without warning, I lost track of Y; next time I need Z.”

More info and original sources

Poko summarises the relevance of public original sources and links out for anyone who wants to read more.

• Executive Functions — Explains attention, working memory and response selection under competing information.
• Job demands — Explains how clarity, support and task demands influence people’s work experience.