How can I help someone when a change of plan feels very big for them?

Short answer

Give a clear update, say what stays the same and name the next step.

What this can look like

A cancelled plan or moved appointment can remove the preparation they were using to get through it.

Why it can happen

A changed plan can remove the preparation and sequence someone was using to stay oriented. A little notice can reduce the effort needed to regroup.

What might help

Give the new details early: what changed, what stays the same, what happens next and when you will know more.

What the research helps explain

Australian autism guidance and research on masking describe meaningful differences in sensory experience, communication, routines, transitions and recovery. They support person-led, context-aware exploration; one trait or difficult day cannot establish autism or AuDHD.

What can vary

People differ widely in communication, sensory needs, recovery and the support they want. Similar experiences can have other explanations. Do not infer identity or offer support without the person’s input.

For this situation

For you, avoid calling a strong reaction stubbornness before you understand what changed.

More info and original sources

Poko summarises the relevance of public original sources and links out for anyone who wants to read more.

• National Guideline for assessment and diagnosis of autism — Australian evidence guidance on autism assessment, varied presentation and appropriate limits.
• Autism Support Strategies — Australian public guidance on practical, person-led environmental and communication supports.