How can I help someone when they copy other people all day and then feel wiped out?

Short answer

Do not assume that looking comfortable means the situation costs nothing.

What this can look like

They may smile, make eye contact or follow a script while using a lot of effort to do so.

Why it can happen

Some people consciously copy expected behaviour, language or expressions to get through a setting. That may help in the moment and still leave them exhausted afterwards.

What might help

Make it safe to be quieter, more direct or to take a break around you. Do not use outward comfort as proof there is no cost.

What the research helps explain

Australian autism guidance and research on masking describe meaningful differences in sensory experience, communication, routines, transitions and recovery. They support person-led, context-aware exploration; one trait or difficult day cannot establish autism or AuDHD.

What can vary

People differ widely in communication, sensory needs, recovery and the support they want. Similar experiences can have other explanations. Do not infer identity or offer support without the person’s input.

For this situation

For you, make it safe to be more direct, quieter or less performative around you.

More info and original sources

Poko summarises the relevance of public original sources and links out for anyone who wants to read more.

• National Guideline for assessment and diagnosis of autism — Australian evidence guidance on autism assessment, varied presentation and appropriate limits.
• Autism Support Strategies — Australian public guidance on practical, person-led environmental and communication supports.