What can I do at work to help someone when they miss unspoken rules but notice things other people miss?

Short answer

Make unspoken workplace rules visible.

What this can look like

Unwritten norms about meetings, response times or office behaviour can disadvantage people.

Why it can happen

People can miss an informal expectation while noticing detail, risk or process gaps others skip. Explain the rule, why it exists and whether another way of meeting the outcome is acceptable.

What might help

Make the rules and flexibility explicit for everyone.

What the research helps explain

Australian autism guidance and research on masking describe meaningful differences in sensory experience, communication, routines, transitions and recovery. At work, person-led, context-aware options can improve access without requiring a person to disclose or be identified as autistic or AuDHD.

What can vary

People differ widely in communication, sensory needs, recovery and preferred support. Similar experiences can have other explanations. Do not infer identity, ask for private information or make adjustments conditional on disclosure.

For this situation

For you, make norms teachable rather than treating them as a test of belonging.

More info and original sources

Poko summarises the relevance of public original sources and links out for anyone who wants to read more.

• National Guideline for assessment and diagnosis of autism — Australian evidence guidance on autism assessment, varied presentation and appropriate limits.
• Autism Support Strategies — Australian public guidance on practical, person-led environmental and communication supports.